Work

I worked a 10 hour shift today. I had super fun too! I love working Fridays with all four of us there. We get plenty of gossiping done! :)

Tomorrow is our open house. Yipee. We will be super busy and hopefully be selling a LOT of gifts for Christmas.

Also, tomorrow night is our Christmas party for work. All I am excited for is the fellowship and friendly gathering of all my co-workers.. Haha, yeah right. I'm going for the free food and bonus check! Heck yeah!!!

Dinosaurs

How often do you think about the time before human existance? What was the world like? What was here?
I have many questions about dinosaurs. I know they didn't really look like most of the movies play them out to be, but there is some truth to that. Who cares. They're dinosaurs, they're extinct. This is a pointless blog, thanks Matthew!

P.S. 'Rawr' means 'I love you' in dinosaur!

Write About "Me"

So, I mentioned needing to do my blog for the night and all Dalton said was "write about me". I responded with, "I already wrote about you, Dalton. I want something interesting"!

But, as I thought about it, I realized there really isn't anything interesting going on right now. I have my last Kentucky clinic appointment on December 9th, thank God. I am ready to be done with UK!

We were talking about our grocery list (we are so ready to move in together) and here is what we came up with: cereal, meat, rice, TV dinners, soda, pretzels, tylenol. There was a lot more things but you get the jist.

I have work 10 hours tomorrow, I need to try to sleep. Good Night!

Random Thoughts..

I just wanted to type some random thoughts for the day about some things that are happening in my life right now:
-Everyone in Fleming County is talking about me moving.
-There are two Katie Donovan's in my anatomy and physiology class!
-I have the BEST boyfriend in the world.
-I have already started packing and it's still a month away.
-I am tired and I am always tired, ugh! I wish I could get over it.
-I miss you each and every minute of every single day.
-I miss old friends, old memories, old times.
-I miss Blink 182 nights.
-I love movies.
-The pharmacy Christmas open house in this Friday and Saturday, that will be awful!

SURPRISE!!!

So tonight I had a wonderful surprise show up at my front door tonight. My boyfriend drove 8 hours just to visit me for one night. To say the least I was speechless. As I type this I am watching him lay down on my couch, covered up, waiting for his antibiotic to be done going in. He has to wake up at 4:30 am in order for him to get back to work tomorrow. I am so confused as to why he came here but so thankful that I have such a loving boyfriend. Not many other guys (if any) would ever do this for me.

I don't really know what to say about the whole thing, really. I love you Dalton Prager.. One more month sweetheart.

Old Friend..

So, tonight, I went out with an old friend tonight. We listened to music and just drove around. It was greattt! I miss the good ol days where I had nothing to worry about except the drama that filled the high school hallways. Where did my teenage years go? Soon I will be 20 years old and it seems like yesterday I was a freshman in high school.

38 Hours...

I have been awake for 38 straight hours now. I'm in that state where I can't even be tired anymore. I feel like I have been ran over by a train, my head hurts something awful! But on the other hand, today was Black Friday!!! It is a tradition for my mother and I to go shopping together, extremely early. I bought a lot of things today, for the apartment mostly. I got home at about 11 am, and had to be at work at noon. I am so worn out but I just can't sleep.

Mom doesn't want to do Christmas this year. No decorations, no tree, no presents, no lights, nothing. I mean, I can't say that I blame her considering she just lost her mom in August, but we always do Christmas big at my house. We have the most beautiful tree and our mantle always looks so wonderful. But, I guess we aren't getting that this year, which sucks. I don't even care about presents, I just want decorations and the tree.

I need to lay down and try to get some sleep. Only two weeks until I see Dalton, thank God. I'm going crazy!

Karaoke Night

So after a pretty intense Thanksgiving day of food, family, and The Notebook/nap, I decided it was time to do a little singing! Wow, what a crazy idea. I sang a lot of Taylor Swift and pretty much rocked my living room.

You are probably wondering how this all went down. No, I didn't just sit in front of my webcam and sing. I made a microphone, here's how. I took my feeding tube stand and then I got some tape and a hairbrush and taped the hairbrush to the feeding tube pole. I must say it worked out rather well!

The night ended with me feeling extremely happy and wanting sleep, but I refuse. It is now 1:40 am, I am waiting for Dalton to get online so we can plan out what we are buying tomorrow for the apartment at Black Friday. Mom and I are going shopping at 3 am! I am super stoked! Well, off to look at ads.

Thanksgiving

A day of thanks and appreciation for all the things that God has blessed us with. I am thankful for so many things this year. I have been through soo much this year. I lost an aunt and a grandma, both were very hard but I'm dealing. My CF has taken a little different toll on me the past few months, also dealing.
I am blessed with a wonderful family, an amazing boyfriend, super friends. Everything in my life is going the way I want it to. I love it all, every single minute.

What I'm Thankful for Today:
Life- I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful for each breath that I take. I am thankful for everyone who supports me. I am thankful to be able to work and go to school. I am thankful for my church family. I am thankful for love. I am thankful for feelings. I am thankful for everything that I have.

During Communications Class I Wrote Down...

What do you do when everything seems like it is crashing and burning around you? You have your whole life planned out and piece by piece it seems as though it is getting ripped apart. Only two people really know the full story (everything that I am referring to).
When I first started the semester I planned on majoring in nursing. I found out that I didn't want to go into that field and am now questioning what do I want to do in life. What is my purpose? What am I good at?

My boyfriend (Dalton, as you know) lives 8 hours away and both, my health and his, is really getting to us. It enables us from talking a lot... No, you know, actually, I feel hopeless. I feel like I am letting him down because I am not being as strong as I should be. It hurts to know that your boyfriend is getting sicker (or atleast sicker than you knew in the first place) and you can't do a thing about it. I don't even really care about talking to him on skype or whatever as much as I care about keeping myself strong for him. He needs that, he needs me to be there.

What I'm Thankful for Today:
My Heart- I'd like to think that I have a good heart. I try to please everyone before myself (even those who have hurt me). I don't like for anyone to be upset with me, and with that being said I try to make every wrong situation right.

Long Day

Long daay...that's it.

Why Need Negatives?

For quite some time now, I have been going to the hospital. Taking those two week visits that just put you in the best moods! There are actually good things that come from being cooped up for two long weeks.

Positives:
Someone waits on you 24/7
Comfortable Bed
Temperature Control (big deal)
Also, television control
No ROOMMATES!
Food, when you want it
Get better by doing nothing
Someone sets up your treatments
People come visit (some that you haven't seen in a while)
Cards and Balloons and Flowers :)

Need I type more? I mean, yeah there definitely are negatives to going to the hospital but why dwell on the negatives? I mean, no matter what you are going to be stuck there anyway so think of the good things. I actually would rather be there sometimes than laying up in bed at home feeling miserable.

That's just my two cents.


What I'm Thankful for Today:
Cell Phone- I know this is an awful thing to be thankful for and 10 (maybe less than that) years ago nobody would have thought about this. But, let's be real here. My cell phone goes with me everywhere, and that is not an exaggeration. I text wayy too much, I kinda think I might be obsessed. I can call someone if I have car problems, which happens too frequently for me. I don't know, I am just thankful that I have this little device to cure my boredom.

The Notebook

All of my friends have always talked about The Notebook (the movie/book) and how it is soo good. I don't know. I never watched it, nor did I ever really want to. But tonight, there was nothing on TV at all and I have the movie at my house, so I was like 'what the heck, I'll watch it'. So, I inserted the chick flick into the DVD player and started to watch.
I started out with a mind set that I was going to hate it, and you know, if you start out saying and thinking you are going to hate something, you will most likely end up hating it. Boy, was I wrong! This was one of the best movies that I have seen in a while! It was soo amazing, romantic, wonderful, ahh, I loved every minute of it! But, this really had nothing to do with anything, I just felt you should know how GREAT this movie is!

Dalton got out of the hospital today. I finally feel happy again. He is feeling better, still on some antibiotics though. Hopefully he is back to his old self by Thanksgiving. His PFTs were 42%, ironically what mine were a couple weeks ago, haha. But, thanks to everyone who said prayers, 15 days was long enough!

What I'm Thankful for Today:
Skype- Skype is a chat/webcam deal. It is what has kept me connected to Dalton. Everytime either one of us is in the hospital, we use skype extra because there's not much to do in there! But, really, Skype is what keeps us connected (and sane) and is great for all the times we miss each other extra! So, thanks to the genius who created this wonderful piece of art.

LoveLife

Have you ever just sat down and thought about everything in your life; why everything happens, who all is in your life, how lucky you are to be where you are. I have really been thinking a lot about my life and how lucky I really am.

Having CF has made me appreciate life so much. I don't take one single breath for granted. I look at it as tomorrow could be my last day.

How many people can say they really live like that, I mean really. There are so many people who have such an easy life that take so many things for granted.

I mean, yeah I probably still take things for granted but I atleast have some sense of what life is really all about.

This blog has no point but I just love everything and everyone :)

What I'm Thankful for Today:
My Friends- Each one of my friends (even more than that is in the picture above) mean something special to me. They each have blessed my life in some way. I can't think my friends enough for being there when I need them. My friends are my sisters that God forgot to give my parents :)

You Had Me at Hello

Have you ever had that one person that makes you feel like you've never felt before? That one person that completes you, makes you feel like the whole world. I'm known for not having much of a good dating record. Sure, I've help up a few long term relationships, but nothing serious until I met Dalton. It's beyond crazy how we met, maybe I should start from the beginning.

Now, first let's get this straight, I'm not a big partier, I don't drink hardly ever. But this past summer was horrible. I had just gotten out of a year and a half relationship (that we knew was turning bad but just couldn't leave without it turning into hate), then I dated this one guy who didn't really care about me at all. So, I started going to more parties and not making the best choices. But, then my life turned around.

So, from the beginning...I live in Kentucky and I also live in the same county as another CF family, the mother's name being Sandy. A few years back, her oldest daughter had to have a double lung transplant in St. Louis, Missouri. While in the hospital in Missouri, Sandy met Renee'. Let's fast forward a few years later. It is now October-December 2008, I added Renee' on facebook. I didn't think anything of it, nor did I ever even talk to her. Now, to fast forward a few months. On August 1, 2009 I was on facebook, trying to cure my boredom. On my news feed I noticed a picture pop up of someone who looked kinda familiar (I'm not gonna lie) but at the same time, it was impossible because it was from Renee's photos. I clicked on this photo. In the photo, there was a boy, sitting in a hospital bed, trying to eat 6 crackers in 60 seconds. I just kinda looked at it for about a minute. I wasn't looking for love or a relationship when I decided to message him, but I just wanted to let him know that I knew what it was like to be in the hospital (because after doing a little bit of facebook stalking, I knew that he had CF). Little did I know, that one message would escalate into hundreds of messages and hours of talking on skype (webcam) about music, goals in our lives, CF, drinking games (haha), and meeting each other. After a day and 3 hours of knowing each other, we decided we wanted to meet each other. It was like I had known him for forever and doing this felt right. The only problem was that he had b.cepacia. To be quite honest, I didn't know what this was. When he told me he had it, I quickly researched it. I looked at numerous sites to find out how you get it, what problems it causes, and everything in between. Surprisingly, this didn't affect the fact of how much I wanted to meet him.

We talked for days and days following August 1st (I'm pretty sure we haven't missed a day). He told me he wanted to come in on my birthday which was August 26. I was so shocked that someone wanted to actually meet me, especially someone who lived 8 hours away from my hometown. We then made plans for him and his mom to come in and stay at the Stockton Station Inn, the bed and breakfast that my aunt and uncle own.

Let's do another fast forward.. On August 28, I met Dalton at the local Dairy Queen at around 7:10 pm, right after I got off of work. I will tell you, I was so nervous. I met this guy on facebook, in reality. I mean sure, we connected in more ways than one, but if you step back and look at the situation, you could call me crazy! Anywho, back to the story.. I met him at the Dairy Queen. I remember, he was wearing a black shirt, and his sunglasses. He was leaned up against the wall, waiting, for me. I pulled up, you know, trying to play it cool. I was so nervous but it felt as if I had been waiting on him for forever, like I had known him and he had just been away on vacation or something. We drove around town for a while. My mom cooked dinner for all of us and we were due there soon (we ended up being late)! But, he told me he wanted to give me my birthday present (2 days late, might I add, haha), so I pulled into the Kens/Pharmacy/Video Solution parking lot and I put the car in park and shut it off. He pulled something out of his pocket. He started to tell me a story of his grandpa, and how he gave him the necklace, and told him that he better outlive him. (RIP-LKP) And so Dalton said to me, "my grandpa gave me this telling me to outlive him, now I'm giving it to you and that means you have to outlive me." I can honestly say I am never speechless, but at that moment I was speechless. I had no idea what to say, heck, I wasn't even sure if I could accept it. But I did, and I now wear it all the time! The next few days were awesome. On Saturday night, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I remember it too. We were in his hotel room and we were laying on his bed (his mom went out to eat with Sandy) and we were drinking wine, because well, we thought we were cool! And he asked me and all I was so ecstatic on the inside! Like I mean, the whole time he was there, all I could do was smile anyway, but when he asked me I was tripping, and of course I said yes!

You know how they always say, when you're in love you just know. It's almost like a feeling that happens as soon as you meet this special person. Well on Sunday night, after Dalton and I got home from eating at Logan's (my favorite resturant) with Laura and Dale (just a couple of friends), we sat there in the car. Talking, listening to music, and loving each moment of one another's presence. I loved him, and I knew it. What I didn't know was that he was feeling the exact same way, until he told me how he felt. I was so amazed at how well we connected and I was excited to start this new relationship with someone that I felt so strongly about. It was hard to see him leave on September 2, but atleast we got to spend 5 wonderful days together.

That was about 3 months ago. There have been many more memories since then, and there will continue to be plenty more. I am completely in love with Dalton and he is the one person I have been searching for, wanting all my life.

Many people go through life searching and looking in all the wrong places. This one caught me totally off guard. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He understands me like noone else. And, I love him.

I have also made a major life changing decision. If you follow his blog he recently posted the news. I am indeed moving to Missouri (from Kentucky) to have the opportunity to spend more time with him, while we are health(ier) and are able to do more things. I have really thought about this decision, long and hard. I have even talked to a few people about it: people that I trust and respect, and those who only want the best for me. Most of them said that I should follow my heart, and my gut instinct. My heart is telling me to go, to do what I have to do. So, as of January 2010, Dalton and I will be moving in together, hopefully making memories that will last us a lifetime.


What I'm Thankful for Today:
Dalton Lee Prager- The love of my life. One person who I can say fully understands me inside and out. He knows exactly what I am going through. From my daily struggles with CF, to the breathing problems, the medicine, just everything. And it's not just CF, we also share some similar music tastes, have fun no matter what we're doing, and get along so great. I know that God has a special plan for us and that we are going to be able to make this all work out. I love Dalton and I know that he loves me. We care so much for each other and I can't wait to start my life with him. This is the person in which I wake up for everyday; I'm not only fighting my life for me, I'm fighting for us. He gives me a reason to breathe.

Dalton, sweetheart, I love you so much. Thank you for the past few months and for the many more months that I know you are going to make absolutely amazing. I love you and everything about you. You are everything I want and need. Just think, only a month and a half and we will be together, for real. Tackling each daily struggle together, just like God has planned. If only everyone knew how crazy these past few months have been, and even the months before August and all those years leading up to the present, they would know you were sent to me, my own special gift from God. That's what you are Dalton, a gift from God. When he made me, he had you in mind, and I do believe that. I love you so much, Dalton Prager.

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's BACK to Work I Go..Finally!

After being off of work for nearly two weeks, it felt great to be back, by the way, I work at a pharmacy. Everyone missed me (haha)! I spent the whole afternoon catching up with Ellen on the drama at the pharmacy and telling her some funny stories, she always like to hear my stories! Ellen and I always have the most of fun, seriously! I will miss here when I quit working there. Let's see here, what else is new. Today, really has been a boring day. Oh, this morning a tragic accident happened. A 13 year old girl was killed in front of her house this morning. She was hit by a car crossing the road from her grandmother's house. May God grant her eternal peace. It's horrible how some things happen. I bet she had crossed the road countless times, and just didn't think. RIP Amber. You will be missed!

What is your opinion on reality TV? Some people hate it all, some people watch every single show, some are just right in the middle. That's me, I like some of it, other shows are just plain dumb. Like, I love American Idol, Little People Big World, Tool Academy. I'm sure there's more. But really, Survivor is just plain dumb, and I'm sorry, but The Hills is also dumb. I hate that show. Ugh! Sorry for wasting three minutes of your life, tomorrow it will be better, I promise! (the picture from left to right: Laura (girl who used to work there), Ellen, and I)

What I'm Thankful for Today:
My Job- Some people are jobless, homeless, carless. I am fortunate enough to have all three. My car runs well, my home is awesome (as I told you yesterday), and my job, wow, I love my job. It seriously is one of the best jobs out there. Its locally owned and my boss, Heather, is extremely easy to work for. She is soo flexible when it comes to me taking off work to go into the hospital. It's really nice to have a boss who actually does care about you and your health. Makes things run a lot smoother. Also, if I (or my brother, who also works with me) need off for anything, we can take off with basically no questions asked. I try to limit my time I take off, although I have been doing it more because my boyfriend lives so far away, but it really is nice to have such a great job. I am lucky.

I Had the Best Day with You, Today...

Today, I stayed home from school, still sick. But yet, very happy with life. I have been doing a lot of thinking the last few months and I have thought about so many different subject, so many different people, so many past experiences and memories. There has been so much to cross my mind.
My family being one of them and the thing that crosses my mind the most. I love my family and each time that I think of old memories I get really upset but also really happy at the same time. Old pictures, what the house and yard uesd to look like, past animals, many memories swirl through my head. I love them so much and I know for a fact that I don't show them enough. I need to make it a point to try harder, I really do. I am going to start that tomorrow, for real. My parents and I, for the past few weeks, have been making it a point to go out to eat every Friday night that dad is off work. And while you are sitting there thinking about how lame I am for spending Friday nights with my parents, I think it's cool.
Some of my most favorite memories include (but not limited to): all the time my parents dressed my brother and I up for Halloween (my favorite might have been the vampire and fairy princess year), the time my brother and I dressed up for the 50's day in elementary school (we were extremely cool), the Christmas pictures that my mom made me and Jake get taken (ughhh! but good times!), so many home vidoes, swimming pools, the swingset, gardening with dad, cooking with mom, burnt spaghetti (hahaha), riding on the railroad with dad, staying home sick (countless times) with mom, Rusty (our first dog), all the cartoon watching. Those are just some of the memories I have of my past 19 years on Earth. There have been soo many good times and I wouldn't change any of it! My family means the world to me...

What I'm Thankful for Today:
My Home- I live in such a big house, that is soo beautiful. My brother and I was so blessed that my daddy wanted nothing more than to have a wonderful house for his family to live in, which is why he decided to build it. It is so pretty inside too. When my mom decided to redo the living room, we got a new couch, painted the walls, and got a new leather chair. Half of our house is log cabin, and in the log cabin half there is the most beautiful fire place and mantle, I love it! We have the perfect spot for our Christmas tree in the living room and everything is just so homey. I love it here. Oh and we also haev a porch swing in our living room, it looks so neat. This house is just great to me, I love it! I am so thankful that I got to spend my life in here, in such a warm, loving home.

Seriously Confused

Wow, I am still kind of confused as to why the events of the past five days have happened. Let me just recap. Friday (11/06) I missed work because I felt awful, this continued through the weekend. On Monday (11/09) I went to my family doctor and got a prescription, she even called Dr. Anstead (CF doctor) to ask him what he thought I should take. So, I ended up with two prescriptions. I took those, but on Thursday I was still not feeling well at all so decided to give the clinic a call and take plan 2, a trip to my 'home away from home'. So on Thursday (11/12) I got admitted. Now, every CF patient knows what all is involved in a trip to the hospital. We have our chest xrays, our regualar CF doctors, usually the same IV antibiotics, PFTs, labs, etc. This hospital visit was a tad bit different. I went in and did the chest xray that night, okay all fine and dandy. I didn't see my regular CF doctor once, either of them. I didn't do PFTs once. I didn't even get sent home with IV antibiotics (mind you, the antibiotic that I was put on I had never had before and didn't have either of the two normal ones I usually do). Usually when I get home, I am happy and HEALTH(IER).

Today, I got sent home. This time, I'm not happy, to say the least, I'm pretty pissed off for a few reasons actually. One being, I told them this morning I didn't feel up to going home and well here I sit. Two, I didn't get any treatment that I needed. I didn't see my regular doctor, do any PFTs, get the right meds (obviously because I still feel this way), I didn't even get sent home with IV antibiotics. I don't know, I'm done with UK Hospital, it really pushed me over the edge. So now, here I sit, at home, still feeling awful.

What I'm Thankful for Today:

Laughter- Everyone needs to laugh, smile, and feel happiness sometimes. Laughter, in my opinion, is the best cure. As long as you are laughing, you are having a good time. Even somedays, we just need to sit back, prop our feet up on the living room table, and laugh at ourselves. Take a look at the stupid things we have done in the past week, year, as far back as you can remember, and just laugh at yourself. Just think, 'wow Katie, what were you thinking?' I always feel better when I smile and laugh.

I'm Not a Princess, This Ain't a Fairy Tale

Today was an extremely rough day. I woke up hearing the voice of a doctor telling my mom that I wasn't sick, that everything I had been feeling for the past couple months was just a 'mild CF exacerbation' and that I would be going home Monday afternoon. Okay, really? I basically wasted a weekend of coming in here only to go out not feeling any better, worse perhaps, and the doctor thinks I'm not sick? Okay.
Mom also visited again today. I was just in a bad mood really all day, so she left early (around 3:00). Then I got my dinner tray and all it had on it was onion rings, a bag of chips, and four cups of fruit. How do they expect a CF patient to live off of that!? That made me even more upset, so my nurse Beth came in and I told her it was the worse day ever and although I hadn't talked to her all day we had a heart-to-heart about everything. Life, love, Dalton, CF, me moving to Missouri, my grandmother, my parents, just everything. It really allowed me to get a lot off of my chest. She was an amazing listener and we both shared some tears. It was seriously what I needed.
After all that, I got to spend a few hours talking to my love. He went to sleep 1 am (my time, midnight his) and so I was left alone again with my night shift nurse to talk. And of course, she came in (after adding me on facebook to tell me what a cute couple we were) to talk to me. We also had a heart-to-heart about the same things above, not in as much detail though.
That's one thing I love about coming into the hospital you form bonds with the nurses. Not so much the doctors or surgeons, but with the nurses. They have a special heart, they are compassionate people. I mean, they have to be. So, this brings me to..

What I'm Thankful for Today:
Nurses- Some of the wisest people I know. I have known many throughout my 19 years and all have touched my heart in a special way. We have shared tears, memories, laughs, and everything in between. From being in the children's hospital and now making the major adjustment to the adult hospital. I have met some of the most wonderful people that walk these floors three days a week. I love each one of them in different ways and I hold each of them in my heart. They are each like gold to me and I will cherish what they have told me and taught me.

Gettin' Drunk Off Ensure

I just pretty much straight up injected 4 cans of Ensure into my feeding tube, ugh. It seriously made me sick and overheated! Mom came to visit today, but I slept most of the day so it wasn't much fun for her probably. But, she did bring me some lunch, so that was nice. I can't get to sleep, but I haven't really tried either. Today was just kinda one of those nights where I didn't feel good at all. I talked to an old friend from high school (I make it sound as if I graduated 10 years ago). But I hadn't seen her since the summer and it was nice catching up.

What I'm Thankful for Today:

God- I have been through so much in the past 19 years and God has helped me get through it all. I am holding his hand through this journey of life and I'm not lettting go. I believe that God has a special plan for me. I am just living my life, making the best decisions that I can, and letting God show me which way to go. I know that one day I will have fulfilled all he has wanted me to.