Random Thoughts..

I just wanted to type some random thoughts for the day about some things that are happening in my life right now:
-Everyone in Fleming County is talking about me moving.
-There are two Katie Donovan's in my anatomy and physiology class!
-I have the BEST boyfriend in the world.
-I have already started packing and it's still a month away.
-I am tired and I am always tired, ugh! I wish I could get over it.
-I miss you each and every minute of every single day.
-I miss old friends, old memories, old times.
-I miss Blink 182 nights.
-I love movies.
-The pharmacy Christmas open house in this Friday and Saturday, that will be awful!

During Communications Class I Wrote Down...

What do you do when everything seems like it is crashing and burning around you? You have your whole life planned out and piece by piece it seems as though it is getting ripped apart. Only two people really know the full story (everything that I am referring to).
When I first started the semester I planned on majoring in nursing. I found out that I didn't want to go into that field and am now questioning what do I want to do in life. What is my purpose? What am I good at?

My boyfriend (Dalton, as you know) lives 8 hours away and both, my health and his, is really getting to us. It enables us from talking a lot... No, you know, actually, I feel hopeless. I feel like I am letting him down because I am not being as strong as I should be. It hurts to know that your boyfriend is getting sicker (or atleast sicker than you knew in the first place) and you can't do a thing about it. I don't even really care about talking to him on skype or whatever as much as I care about keeping myself strong for him. He needs that, he needs me to be there.

What I'm Thankful for Today:
My Heart- I'd like to think that I have a good heart. I try to please everyone before myself (even those who have hurt me). I don't like for anyone to be upset with me, and with that being said I try to make every wrong situation right.

You Had Me at Hello

Have you ever had that one person that makes you feel like you've never felt before? That one person that completes you, makes you feel like the whole world. I'm known for not having much of a good dating record. Sure, I've help up a few long term relationships, but nothing serious until I met Dalton. It's beyond crazy how we met, maybe I should start from the beginning.

Now, first let's get this straight, I'm not a big partier, I don't drink hardly ever. But this past summer was horrible. I had just gotten out of a year and a half relationship (that we knew was turning bad but just couldn't leave without it turning into hate), then I dated this one guy who didn't really care about me at all. So, I started going to more parties and not making the best choices. But, then my life turned around.

So, from the beginning...I live in Kentucky and I also live in the same county as another CF family, the mother's name being Sandy. A few years back, her oldest daughter had to have a double lung transplant in St. Louis, Missouri. While in the hospital in Missouri, Sandy met Renee'. Let's fast forward a few years later. It is now October-December 2008, I added Renee' on facebook. I didn't think anything of it, nor did I ever even talk to her. Now, to fast forward a few months. On August 1, 2009 I was on facebook, trying to cure my boredom. On my news feed I noticed a picture pop up of someone who looked kinda familiar (I'm not gonna lie) but at the same time, it was impossible because it was from Renee's photos. I clicked on this photo. In the photo, there was a boy, sitting in a hospital bed, trying to eat 6 crackers in 60 seconds. I just kinda looked at it for about a minute. I wasn't looking for love or a relationship when I decided to message him, but I just wanted to let him know that I knew what it was like to be in the hospital (because after doing a little bit of facebook stalking, I knew that he had CF). Little did I know, that one message would escalate into hundreds of messages and hours of talking on skype (webcam) about music, goals in our lives, CF, drinking games (haha), and meeting each other. After a day and 3 hours of knowing each other, we decided we wanted to meet each other. It was like I had known him for forever and doing this felt right. The only problem was that he had b.cepacia. To be quite honest, I didn't know what this was. When he told me he had it, I quickly researched it. I looked at numerous sites to find out how you get it, what problems it causes, and everything in between. Surprisingly, this didn't affect the fact of how much I wanted to meet him.

We talked for days and days following August 1st (I'm pretty sure we haven't missed a day). He told me he wanted to come in on my birthday which was August 26. I was so shocked that someone wanted to actually meet me, especially someone who lived 8 hours away from my hometown. We then made plans for him and his mom to come in and stay at the Stockton Station Inn, the bed and breakfast that my aunt and uncle own.

Let's do another fast forward.. On August 28, I met Dalton at the local Dairy Queen at around 7:10 pm, right after I got off of work. I will tell you, I was so nervous. I met this guy on facebook, in reality. I mean sure, we connected in more ways than one, but if you step back and look at the situation, you could call me crazy! Anywho, back to the story.. I met him at the Dairy Queen. I remember, he was wearing a black shirt, and his sunglasses. He was leaned up against the wall, waiting, for me. I pulled up, you know, trying to play it cool. I was so nervous but it felt as if I had been waiting on him for forever, like I had known him and he had just been away on vacation or something. We drove around town for a while. My mom cooked dinner for all of us and we were due there soon (we ended up being late)! But, he told me he wanted to give me my birthday present (2 days late, might I add, haha), so I pulled into the Kens/Pharmacy/Video Solution parking lot and I put the car in park and shut it off. He pulled something out of his pocket. He started to tell me a story of his grandpa, and how he gave him the necklace, and told him that he better outlive him. (RIP-LKP) And so Dalton said to me, "my grandpa gave me this telling me to outlive him, now I'm giving it to you and that means you have to outlive me." I can honestly say I am never speechless, but at that moment I was speechless. I had no idea what to say, heck, I wasn't even sure if I could accept it. But I did, and I now wear it all the time! The next few days were awesome. On Saturday night, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I remember it too. We were in his hotel room and we were laying on his bed (his mom went out to eat with Sandy) and we were drinking wine, because well, we thought we were cool! And he asked me and all I was so ecstatic on the inside! Like I mean, the whole time he was there, all I could do was smile anyway, but when he asked me I was tripping, and of course I said yes!

You know how they always say, when you're in love you just know. It's almost like a feeling that happens as soon as you meet this special person. Well on Sunday night, after Dalton and I got home from eating at Logan's (my favorite resturant) with Laura and Dale (just a couple of friends), we sat there in the car. Talking, listening to music, and loving each moment of one another's presence. I loved him, and I knew it. What I didn't know was that he was feeling the exact same way, until he told me how he felt. I was so amazed at how well we connected and I was excited to start this new relationship with someone that I felt so strongly about. It was hard to see him leave on September 2, but atleast we got to spend 5 wonderful days together.

That was about 3 months ago. There have been many more memories since then, and there will continue to be plenty more. I am completely in love with Dalton and he is the one person I have been searching for, wanting all my life.

Many people go through life searching and looking in all the wrong places. This one caught me totally off guard. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He understands me like noone else. And, I love him.

I have also made a major life changing decision. If you follow his blog he recently posted the news. I am indeed moving to Missouri (from Kentucky) to have the opportunity to spend more time with him, while we are health(ier) and are able to do more things. I have really thought about this decision, long and hard. I have even talked to a few people about it: people that I trust and respect, and those who only want the best for me. Most of them said that I should follow my heart, and my gut instinct. My heart is telling me to go, to do what I have to do. So, as of January 2010, Dalton and I will be moving in together, hopefully making memories that will last us a lifetime.


What I'm Thankful for Today:
Dalton Lee Prager- The love of my life. One person who I can say fully understands me inside and out. He knows exactly what I am going through. From my daily struggles with CF, to the breathing problems, the medicine, just everything. And it's not just CF, we also share some similar music tastes, have fun no matter what we're doing, and get along so great. I know that God has a special plan for us and that we are going to be able to make this all work out. I love Dalton and I know that he loves me. We care so much for each other and I can't wait to start my life with him. This is the person in which I wake up for everyday; I'm not only fighting my life for me, I'm fighting for us. He gives me a reason to breathe.

Dalton, sweetheart, I love you so much. Thank you for the past few months and for the many more months that I know you are going to make absolutely amazing. I love you and everything about you. You are everything I want and need. Just think, only a month and a half and we will be together, for real. Tackling each daily struggle together, just like God has planned. If only everyone knew how crazy these past few months have been, and even the months before August and all those years leading up to the present, they would know you were sent to me, my own special gift from God. That's what you are Dalton, a gift from God. When he made me, he had you in mind, and I do believe that. I love you so much, Dalton Prager.

I Had the Best Day with You, Today...

Today, I stayed home from school, still sick. But yet, very happy with life. I have been doing a lot of thinking the last few months and I have thought about so many different subject, so many different people, so many past experiences and memories. There has been so much to cross my mind.
My family being one of them and the thing that crosses my mind the most. I love my family and each time that I think of old memories I get really upset but also really happy at the same time. Old pictures, what the house and yard uesd to look like, past animals, many memories swirl through my head. I love them so much and I know for a fact that I don't show them enough. I need to make it a point to try harder, I really do. I am going to start that tomorrow, for real. My parents and I, for the past few weeks, have been making it a point to go out to eat every Friday night that dad is off work. And while you are sitting there thinking about how lame I am for spending Friday nights with my parents, I think it's cool.
Some of my most favorite memories include (but not limited to): all the time my parents dressed my brother and I up for Halloween (my favorite might have been the vampire and fairy princess year), the time my brother and I dressed up for the 50's day in elementary school (we were extremely cool), the Christmas pictures that my mom made me and Jake get taken (ughhh! but good times!), so many home vidoes, swimming pools, the swingset, gardening with dad, cooking with mom, burnt spaghetti (hahaha), riding on the railroad with dad, staying home sick (countless times) with mom, Rusty (our first dog), all the cartoon watching. Those are just some of the memories I have of my past 19 years on Earth. There have been soo many good times and I wouldn't change any of it! My family means the world to me...

What I'm Thankful for Today:
My Home- I live in such a big house, that is soo beautiful. My brother and I was so blessed that my daddy wanted nothing more than to have a wonderful house for his family to live in, which is why he decided to build it. It is so pretty inside too. When my mom decided to redo the living room, we got a new couch, painted the walls, and got a new leather chair. Half of our house is log cabin, and in the log cabin half there is the most beautiful fire place and mantle, I love it! We have the perfect spot for our Christmas tree in the living room and everything is just so homey. I love it here. Oh and we also haev a porch swing in our living room, it looks so neat. This house is just great to me, I love it! I am so thankful that I got to spend my life in here, in such a warm, loving home.

I'm Not a Princess, This Ain't a Fairy Tale

Today was an extremely rough day. I woke up hearing the voice of a doctor telling my mom that I wasn't sick, that everything I had been feeling for the past couple months was just a 'mild CF exacerbation' and that I would be going home Monday afternoon. Okay, really? I basically wasted a weekend of coming in here only to go out not feeling any better, worse perhaps, and the doctor thinks I'm not sick? Okay.
Mom also visited again today. I was just in a bad mood really all day, so she left early (around 3:00). Then I got my dinner tray and all it had on it was onion rings, a bag of chips, and four cups of fruit. How do they expect a CF patient to live off of that!? That made me even more upset, so my nurse Beth came in and I told her it was the worse day ever and although I hadn't talked to her all day we had a heart-to-heart about everything. Life, love, Dalton, CF, me moving to Missouri, my grandmother, my parents, just everything. It really allowed me to get a lot off of my chest. She was an amazing listener and we both shared some tears. It was seriously what I needed.
After all that, I got to spend a few hours talking to my love. He went to sleep 1 am (my time, midnight his) and so I was left alone again with my night shift nurse to talk. And of course, she came in (after adding me on facebook to tell me what a cute couple we were) to talk to me. We also had a heart-to-heart about the same things above, not in as much detail though.
That's one thing I love about coming into the hospital you form bonds with the nurses. Not so much the doctors or surgeons, but with the nurses. They have a special heart, they are compassionate people. I mean, they have to be. So, this brings me to..

What I'm Thankful for Today:
Nurses- Some of the wisest people I know. I have known many throughout my 19 years and all have touched my heart in a special way. We have shared tears, memories, laughs, and everything in between. From being in the children's hospital and now making the major adjustment to the adult hospital. I have met some of the most wonderful people that walk these floors three days a week. I love each one of them in different ways and I hold each of them in my heart. They are each like gold to me and I will cherish what they have told me and taught me.

New

Well, hello there. First off, let me introduce myself. I am Katie Donovan, 19 years old, and I have Cystic Fibrosis. This 'blog' has been a long time coming. I have never really had, well, made the time to do such blog, but I am now making time and am going to start doing this on a daily basis, hopefully!

About Me:
I was born on August 26, 1990.
I am a freshman at Maysville Community and Technical College.
I am studying to be a nurse.
I LOVE music, seriously, all kinds.
I am addicted to: texting, soda, facebook, and saving money.
My boyfriend lives 8 hours away, in Missouri.
I volunteer, sometimes.
I work too much!
I don't study enough.
I love to Travel!

Those are just a few random facts. I am actually trying to multi-task right now so I can't even really concentrate. I will start for real, tomorrow.