During Communications Class I Wrote Down...

What do you do when everything seems like it is crashing and burning around you? You have your whole life planned out and piece by piece it seems as though it is getting ripped apart. Only two people really know the full story (everything that I am referring to).
When I first started the semester I planned on majoring in nursing. I found out that I didn't want to go into that field and am now questioning what do I want to do in life. What is my purpose? What am I good at?

My boyfriend (Dalton, as you know) lives 8 hours away and both, my health and his, is really getting to us. It enables us from talking a lot... No, you know, actually, I feel hopeless. I feel like I am letting him down because I am not being as strong as I should be. It hurts to know that your boyfriend is getting sicker (or atleast sicker than you knew in the first place) and you can't do a thing about it. I don't even really care about talking to him on skype or whatever as much as I care about keeping myself strong for him. He needs that, he needs me to be there.

What I'm Thankful for Today:
My Heart- I'd like to think that I have a good heart. I try to please everyone before myself (even those who have hurt me). I don't like for anyone to be upset with me, and with that being said I try to make every wrong situation right.

Gettin' Drunk Off Ensure

I just pretty much straight up injected 4 cans of Ensure into my feeding tube, ugh. It seriously made me sick and overheated! Mom came to visit today, but I slept most of the day so it wasn't much fun for her probably. But, she did bring me some lunch, so that was nice. I can't get to sleep, but I haven't really tried either. Today was just kinda one of those nights where I didn't feel good at all. I talked to an old friend from high school (I make it sound as if I graduated 10 years ago). But I hadn't seen her since the summer and it was nice catching up.

What I'm Thankful for Today:

God- I have been through so much in the past 19 years and God has helped me get through it all. I am holding his hand through this journey of life and I'm not lettting go. I believe that God has a special plan for me. I am just living my life, making the best decisions that I can, and letting God show me which way to go. I know that one day I will have fulfilled all he has wanted me to.

College Tuesday's

My Schedule for every Tuesday and Thursday:

8:00-9:00 Anatomy and Physiology Study Period

9:30-10:45 Anatomy and Physiology

11:00-12:15 Communications

4:30-5:00 Dosage Calculations

So, from 12:30-4:00, I usually go home and nap. I go to a community college and my drive is 17 minutes long. It is pretty boring too, but sometimes very scenic. Today, I decided to stay at college all day in case of a hospitalization later on in the week. Which, if I have to call my dr tomorrow, that will most likely happen. So, I will be studying A&P all week (the only class that I don't have above a 95% in, ugh!).

Enough about me, I just want to request a special prayer for Dalton. He is still in the hospital and has been running a fever. He also just found out today that he has a yeast infection in his port-a-cath, which isn't a good thing. So, let's just hope he gets better soon!

*This picture was taken in San Diego, California in March 2009*

Sick

I have been sick off and on since Friday. On Friday's I usually work from 9:00-7:00 (yes, a 10 hour shirt), but I left early, at 11, and slept all afternoon. I then went back to work at 4 to finish up my shift. My boss is very lenient, so this wasn't a problem at all. On Saturday I work from 9:00-3:30 and I also left early, at about 12:00. I also came home and slept all afternoon that day too. Yesterday, Sunday, I slept some but just layed around the house really. Now, today I finally have a doctor's appointment!!! It's just at my family doctor though. Ugh, I would much rather be going to clinic today and getting some real antibiotics.

Update:
I tested negative for the flu, but they now think that it may be pneumonia? I have no idea what I am doing, if I'm coming or going. I am so tired and weak and can barely stay awake. My CF dr. called in Bactrim, and two other antibiotics (I forgot which ones). When I sleep, I keep waking up not being able to breathe and gasping for air. What is going on with me?

Also, good job for Dalton getting a 47% on his pft's today!! Home soon? I hope so.